Forgive my intermittent updates. But rest assured as the days pass, no news is good news. I know so many of you are constantly with us and waiting for updates. I hope through the tremendous friends & family grapevine/network you know we are still heading in the right direction. But if you want to connect with me directly I promise to reply.
Ken remains stable. Needless to say his recovery is frustratingly slow, not least for him, but he is recovering and I remind myself every day – he has new lungs!
The days are becoming a bit of a blur but what remains constantly in focus to me is the unbelievable support from you all. It seems like every person we have ever known is behind us.
Wonderful Judy brought our boys to Toronto on Monday. I didn’t know how much I had been missing them until I set eyes on them. Their Uncle Hugh wore down some of their wound-up energy with swimming and trampolining and the boys loved catching up with him. We spent a lot of time talking through what is happening with their Dad and they had the opportunity to talk with a doctor as well as a nurse from the hospital team. I don’t think I have ever been so proud of them. Ken had asked that they not come visit until he was a little better but I know he would want what was best for the kids. So, we talked over what they each wanted to do and felt most comfortable with. Both boys agreed they wanted to respect their Dad’s wishes and Lochy D concluded he was happy to wait a little longer. But in making that decision he made it clear to Jocky D it would be absolutely fine if he wanted to do something different. Jocky paused for a long time before saying very quietly “I want to see him”. We decided, to make sure he was doing what was right for him as well as his Dad, he would only go to the window of the room and take a peek while Ken was sleeping. He took my hand and into the corridor we went. It is a moment no one ever wants to share with their wee one but I truly caught the measure of our sons in these moments.
The lovely apartment Hugh found for us is taking shape. Al and his wife, Carolyn have rallied their troops to help us with household essentials and somehow managed to unknowingly lend bed linen that matches the bedroom colour scheme perfectly. The very beautiful Elizabeth Gray-Smith arrived from Ottawa with framed photos, my computer from work and my aisle all making this new space feel so much more like home. The Metis girls continue to rally and Jack Burkom flew in on route to the States bringing his love and support.
Every day throws it’s own sunshine. I asked the Starbucks team in the atrium of the hospital if they could be ‘my friends’ and every morning they greet me with smiles and call me Sally D. Rogers went out of their way to wire us up during our temporary stay in Toronto and the technician who turned up to connect us was a complete star – big shout out to Erin!! The nurses are wonderful, the doctors are magicians and our friends & family are lifesavers. These stressful days are made so much more manageable by every last one of you.
Yesterday was another day of highs and lows. Ken’s stats were a little off kilter, he was still heavily sedated and the docs explained their usual complex synopsis of where things are at. As I looked at the numbers on the screens I felt a little anxious but remembered a piece of advice given by a nurse called Donna days before. She said, “Don’t look at the stats so much as looking at the patient”. As I turned away from the screens and said his name, Ken shuffled and stirred and beamed another smile my way. Today he stayed with me much longer. He mouthed questions to me about the boys and how he was feeling. I was angry with myself for not reading his lips more easily but we managed. This is real progress and fuels me with confidence and perspective. He wrote a few things too, albeit slowly. He requested his laptop, phone and glasses (easy tiger!) and thanked Hugh for helping with the kids. He even blew me a kiss 🙂
The rollercoaster will continue but corners are being turned. And in the meantime there are moments in each and every day that are magical. While on our way to play some pool with the kids the other night Liz spotted the actor Adam Scott in a toyshop. In a split second we had made a Go Kenny D sign and were hovering behind the poor man like hysterical teenagers. Every time I look at the photo he kindly agreed to have taken I laugh at Liz’s expression – priceless.
She also managed to accost a man in the elevator of the apartment block. He was taking an ottoman out the garbage because he is moving out. By the time she had worked her charm he was in our wee pad drinking beer having given us that ottomen, as well as a tv stand and a lamp. J
Before I sign off I will tell you about one more example of pure kindness from the countless gestures you all support us with. Our wee pal Gladstone has been concerned about Ken not waking up quickly enough. He mulled it over for some time and knowing Kens passion for coffee, he went to his Mum to explain he believed that is what he needed. For now that is not possible but he and Ashley did put together a little jar of coffee beans to make Ken’s room smell of a bright new morning. Wonderful.
Liz closes in as closely as she dares with Adam Scott
One of my wonderful brothers all of whom are with us every step of the way.
We found an art store round the corner from our flat – Yeah!
Perfect bed linen
Peaceful after a long day.
So proud of my boys.
Fun and games to wrap up the day.
The boys other Uncle.
Hanging in the pool hall.
Omar, having been accosted in the elevator.
Lochy D flys on the trampolines.
Chella spoils us with a homemade dinner.
The lovely Erin from Rogers.
Wene and Jack come to keep us company.
Gladstone’s coffee beans.
Hugh and I were in Ken’s room the other day and this song came on the radio – it has been in my head ever since. The line “Jai Guru Deva OM” means, “Glory to the spiritual master”. I hear the song in my head every day and know everything is going to be okay.
Love and thanks to all. Go KENNY D!